This week in fucked, Texan women are. Thirteen abortion clinics in Texas closed overnight, due to a federal court sending a harsh new anti-abortion bill into effect. Between this law and another provision recently passed, about 80 percent of the state's 44 abortion clinics have closed within the last year, leaving more abortion clinics than actual women who want to live in Texas.
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THIS WEEK'S ADVICE
Dear TWIS, I've been with my boyfriend for about three years now. I love him a lot; we even have talked about getting married. I feel like we're a really good couple. But for the past couple months, whenever we have sex, he can't stay hard. He just started a new job and has been under a lot of pressure lately, but it's still frustrating, and I find myself looking at other men, which makes me feel terrible. What can I do, if anything, to make this situation better? -Horny and Sad
Dear HAS, That's very frustrating, I feel for you. There are two main places that his dong is connected to: his body, and his mind (duh). What's going on with both of those? Does he exercise regularly? Does he drink a lot, or take bong rips all day? Does he feel good about his body? There are all sorts of factors that can physically inhibit a boner, I'd start deducing there. Then there's the mental/emotional element: is he depressed, or excessively stressed? Do you both trust each other? Also, are you both still in love with each other, and have chemistry? I know it's an uncomfortable conversation, but you'll have to talk to him to find out what's going on, and ask if there's anything you can do. You don't want to push or shame him, or make him feel bad, because that obviously won't alleviate the situation. However, you both have needs that have to get met, and his choices affect you, too. Also, maybe you guys could take sex off the table for a little while. Straight men are always so ready to jam their wangs into you, that foreplay often goes forgotten. Maybe you guys could start getting each other off in other ways, and connecting with each other; then there won't be quite so much pressure on him to perform. I'd suggest more foreplay, less emphasis on sex, and a diplomatic conversation to get to the root of his flailing root.
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Hey TWIS, I feel like my boyfriend and I are not on the same page. We've been exclusively seeing each other for a couple months, and it still feels like I'm always calling him to hang out. We only see each other a couple times a week, and I'd like to see him more often than that, but he's said he's fine with where things are. I don't want to break up with him; when he we hang out, we have a lot of fun together. But I don't like feeling like I'm always the one initiating. How do I talk to him about it? Am I being unreasonable, or too needy? -Needy White Girl
Hey NWG, the funny thing about being a woman is that we're taught to be constantly afraid of being too needy or too crazy our whole lives, that it often turns us into insecure, crazy monsters. Every woman, like every person, in general, has different wants, desires, needs in a relationship. Some of us want to see our boyfriends every day. Some of us want a guy we can screw once a week. Some of us like to eat pussy. We're a whole cornucopia of needs; that's what makes the intricately woven fabric that is womanhood. The trick to dealing with those needs is to understand who you are, what you want, and how to articulate what you want and need in a way that doesn't alienate your partner. You definitely need to talk to the bf; can you guys come to a compromise about how often you see each other, or who calls whom? Maybe you guys could trade off. Maybe you do all the calling and pumice his calluses on Thursdays, and he cooks, cleans, and braids your hair on Tuesdays. I'd suggest you guys discuss, and come to an understanding about what type of relationship you both are expecting/wanting/needing. And if you've talked it over, and you still feel like a miserable needy teenager in a couple months, then you two might just not be a good fit, and better hop on the expressway to Friendshipville, or even Acquaintancetown.
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Hey TWIS, I'm a straight girl in my twenties who's never been with a woman. I'm definitely mostly straight- I love having sex with men, but recently, I've starting looking at more women sexually. I don't think I could be in a relationship with a woman, but before I settle down, I'd like to at least try hooking up with a woman. The problem is, I don't really know how to initiate that. Any time women have hit on me, I haven't really been attracted to them, and in the very few instances I've actually been attracted to a woman, they've mostly been straight, or in a relationship. There aren't any lesbian bars in my city, and I'm not sure if I really want to use the internet (I don't use the internet for meeting men, either). What are some other ways I can give this a shot? -Pussy Curious
Dear PC, It's cool that we live in an age when people are allowed to acknowledge their natural feelings, not be scared of them, and learn how to act on them in a healthy way; I applaud you for that. Meeting women for anybody is tough. Meeting people through friends is always a good way to start. It'll also be harder, given that you're not really gay, you're just curious. Some people might be put off by that, but not all. You could take classes, go to clubs, join a community softball team. If you live in a town with no gay bars and aren't willing to use the internet, it could take longer for you to discover what puss might be right under your nose. Whether we like it or not, we live in an age where the internet is quickly becoming a more viable and less scary option to meet people, especially since more "normal" (i.e. non-ax murderers and psychopaths) are using these mediums, and we're living in an age with less human interaction. But, if you want to try out for the other team the old fashioned way, you're going to have to go out a lot, find lots of ways to meet people, and really put yourself out there, often in uncomfortable ways. It might take longer, with the more stipulations you have. Do you know anyone that could set you up, or any friends that might be bi-curious? You could start there.
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