Rapper 50 Cent has to pay $5 million to a woman with whom he made a sex tape, after leaking it to the public without her consent. Cent filed for bankruptcy on Monday, a few days after his hearing. In the wake of his bankruptcy and non-consensual sex tape, Cent has said in interviews that he will no longer be taking anyone to the Candy Shop, and most likely will not be getting any licks from his lollipop. 

Hundreds of colorful dildos have been spotted hanging from power lines all over Portland, Oregon in the last 48 hours. A PGE spokesman said that the rubber products were not a fire hazard. "A SEXY hazard, however, they might be," continued the PGE spokesperson, licking his lips while climbing up the telephone pole. 

A now-former Disneyland employee named Darreck Michael Enciso was charged with trying to exchange sex for Disneyland tickets with an underage girl this past weekend. The 14-year-old girl he had tried to meet up with turned out to be a Huntington Beach officer, who then arrested him, finding condoms and Disneyland tickets on him at the time of the arrest. Said Enciso, "That's what EVERY Disneyland employee has in their pockets."

Wisconsin gov. and Presidential Republican nominee Scott Walker told the Independent Journal Review in an interview that he favors the now-dismantled ban on gay adult boy scouts. "I support the previous membership policy because it protected children and advanced scout values," Walker told the Review, while sticking his penis in the mouth hole of a cardboard cutout of himself.