55-year-old Chinese resident Hong Yang was arrested for bribing a customs officer with sex to let her and her adult daughter pass through JFK with undeclared goods. The complaint filed in court stated that Yang had written her name and number and passed it to the customs agent, then offering him $10,000 and a wristwatch if he had let them pass with their goods valuing at $160,000. Said a personal acquaintance of Yang's back home in Beijing, "You should see what she used to offer at the PTA meetings."

An inmate at a women's prison in Oahu recently admitted to having sexual relationships with two correctional officers over the course of the fall. In addition to having an ongoing relationship with a female guard, the inmate had also performed oral sex on a male corrections offer in exchange for snacks and candy. When asked in an interview by the press, she shrugged and responded, "They were Reese's."

According to a recent report by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, fewer than half of U.S. high schools and roughly 20 percent of middle schools educate students on all of the recommended sex ed topics. The most effective states were New York, New Jersey, and New Hampshire, with 75 percent teaching the recommended material, whereas Arizona came in last place, with only 1 in 5 schools teaching the recommended criteria. This explains why John McCain still can't find his penis.

New York Catholic priest Peter Miqueli is being sued by his parishioners for stealing an estimated $1 million from the collection plate over the past twelve years to pay for sex from a male S&M master. Miqueli used the money to pay for illegal and prescription drugs, and sessions where his gay sex master- Keith Crist- would "force Father Miqueli to drink Keith Crist's urine." Miqueli responded in a New York Post interview, "Well I needed something to wash down those communion crackers."