When it Rains, It Porns

In addition to the myriad of issues that occur when using Viagra, scientists discovered this week that Viagra may also increase the risk of melanoma, the most dangerous type of skin cancer. Until recently, there were no known long-term effects of Viagra usage, until a study in JAMA Medicine showed this correlation. Other side effects of Viagra have included headaches, congestion, indigestion, dizziness, and the crippling reality that even your hard cock can't make her forget that you're an asshole. 

Oregon's same-sex marriage ban goes into court this week. Lawyers for the state wrote, "The ban on same-sex marriage serves no rational purpose and harms Oregon citizens." The ban was added in 2004, after Multnomah County issued marriage licenses to same-sex couples without receiving a vote first. Defenders of the ban on gay marriage in other parts of the country have often used the argument that "the government has an interest in promoting a safe and nurturing home for children." "Bull-shit," said America's children sitting in dirt, wearing orange peels for shoes.  

A petition was sent to the Indian Supreme Court this week to challenge India's most recent ban on gay sex. The ban was enacted in December of 2013, criminalizing homosexuality, with a punishment of life imprisonment. "Still beats working in a sweatshop," said India's homosexuals.

A recent study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that people who participate in BDSM are more likely to be "psychologically healthy" than those who only enjoy "vanilla sex." Researchers interviewed over 900 random test subjects, and found that those who engage in BDSM are more likely to be more satisfied and feel secure in their relationships, and more communicative of their needs. Vanilla sexers are more likely to be anxious, unsure in their relationships, and prefer chocolate. 

A French survey institute (IFOP) and an adult webcam site found that those who watch more porn tend to also have more sex. Ninety percent of men surveyed and 60 percent of women all admitted to watching porn regularly. Of those in couples, 53 percent said they watch porn as a couple, and 66 percent said they would, if their partners ever got off the damn computer and asked.