Brooklyn's "smallest penis contest" comes back for another round on June 14th. Contestants will be judged on "poise in both evening wear and bathing wear." This year's organizers have been requesting Miley Cyrus to judge the contest, as she's well known for her ability to shrivel up dicks.

An Italian man faced a civil suit from a dozen of his condo neighbors this week after listening to him have loud sex. The 42-year-old was tried for "stalking," even though the tenants complained rather about loud sex, which "disturbed the peace in the condominium and the building's decorum." The judge sentenced the man to six months in jail, because no place teaches a person to have quiet sex more than prison.

In a recent study in the journal Computers in Human Behavior, nearly half of college-aged sexters polled in the study had lied about "what they were wearing, doing, or both." Nearly 70 percent had lied to fulfill a fantasy or pass the time, and far more women, 45 percent, lied in their sexts than men, at 24 percent. In Louisa County, a rural area in Virginia, a recent sext has sparked outrage amongst parents of teenagers and garnered national media attention. Now Louisa County high schools are bringing in (s)experts to talk to high school students about the dangers of sending naked pictures of yourself via text. "Tell me about it," said James Franco.

According to another recent study, nearly one third of all moms say they've gone at least a few years without sex. Apparently moms and Doug, the 42-year-old paunch meat delivery guy, have more in common than we thought.