Do They Still Make the Sponge?

A study published in the journal BMJ Open recently revealed that high school-aged kids surveyed across ten different countries for the last 16 years were highly unsatisfied with their sex education classes. Some students in the study noted a time when their gym teacher, Ms. Plum, who unwillingly taught sex ed, was so uncomfortable with the material she was teaching that she cried during her presentation. Although some students are saying that was because she was recalling the time her and Mr. Plum were in the Conservatory with the rope.

A Chicago-area woman filed a lawsuit against the sex toy company "We-Vibe" this month, for extracting "personal data" from her Bluetooth vibrator without her consent. According to the lawsuit, data usage, date and time details, and even e-mail addresses of registered users for her Bluetooth device were sent to the company's Canadian servers without her consent. The president of the We-Vibe company claims that their data collection should be legally covered under the #YOLO Act of 2015. 

In the wake of the Brock Turner case, California governor Jerry Brown signed a piece of legislation that will mandate harsher sentencings for sex offenders, often including a minimum of three years in prison for sex offenders, and no probation for offenders if their victim was unconscious. However, Jerry Brown added that Donald Trump can receive parole after he fucks an unconscious America.

A new study conducted by the University of Florence in Italy, and published in the journal Frontiers in Physiology, showed that there may be a connection between increased sexual activity and improved athletic performance. This explains why the Olympic village in Rio was getting all sticky towards the end.  

An extensive study conducted by the University of Copenhagen interviewed over 1 million Danish women between the ages of 15 and 34, and discovered a link between the oral contraceptive pill and depression. "D'uh," responded all human females.