On Friday, an Illinois judge "threw out" a sexual assault case between two University of Illinois students. The defendant, Mohammad Hossain, a 19-year-old biology student, had been having casual sex with the victim, until the night he hit her repeatedly with a belt while she was tied up and blindfolded, begging him to stop. Hossain claimed he was just acting out "50 Shades of Grey." "Yeah, if it was a Bill Cosby production," responded the victim.

In a recent study conducted by The Journal of Sexual Medicine, researchers discovered that with each additional hour of sleep, women are 14% more likely to have sex. In related news, I'll be taking a break from writing "This Week in Sex" to go into hibernation.

Cosmopolitan magazine recently surveyed over 2,300 18-40 year old women in an online poll, asking about orgasms and their sexual history. 72 percent of the women surveyed said they had been with a partner who climaxed, but wasn't interested in helping them reach orgasm. It was noted that 68 percent of that total was named Chad or Todd, only ate take-out, and "didn't feel like" having dinner with your parents on Sunday.

In a story that needs no punchline, The Knoxville Baptist Tabernacle church in Tennessee put a message on their marquee over the weekend saying, "Remember- Satan was the first to demand equal rights." The eulogy delivered that Sunday elaborated: "Satan was also a botanist, a frequent volunteer for Habitat for Humanity, a trivia buff, 'crazy good' on the ukulele, and a big Michael Bublé fan."