Researchers reported Monday that "Truvada," a drug made to prevent the spread of HIV, is highly effective, as only two people from the study out of 500 were reported to contract the virus. This was also after engaging in "risky behavior," such as anal sex without a condom. The two that became infected were believed to not have taken the drug as consistently, and the two groups that were found to not be able to retain the drug as well were African-Americans, and people living in Miami. This explains why Bryant Gumbel will certainly not be returning to the Coconut Grove "Crab Shack" any time soon.

One of the two women that groped and twerked on a man in a DC area convenient store last month was arrested this week. The two are charged with third-degree sexual abuse, which could mean up to ten years in prison. In related news, Bill Cosby has recently been spotted strolling near his home in Shelburne Falls, Massachusetts, sucking on a lime Jell-O cup and whistling "What a Wonderful World."

Nearly 2,000 Salt Lake City residents attended a rally to resign from the Mormon church this week, in response to a new policy that punishes same-sex Mormon couples and their children. One Utah lawyer, who cut ties from the church 15 years ago, is offering his services for free for anyone who's leaving the church, and needs help with their paperwork. So far, he's had more than 1,700 people get in touch with him in the past week. In response, the Mormon church has tried to lure its members back with Joseph Smith action figures, fistfuls of Mitt Romney's hair, and polygamist bake sales.

Same-sex marriage became officially legal in Ireland on Monday. The Marriage 2015 Act will not apply to churches or religious organizations, so pastors and religious heads will not be forced to ordain same-sex couples, if they feel it conflicts with their religious beliefs. Because of this caveat, gay couples will be legally permitted to slap these pastors across the face and Riverdance all over their bigoted bodies.