A man in England had an "accidental vasectomy" this week. Upon going in for a minor urological operation, this anonymous man was given a vasectomy, without his permission or knowledge. His lawyer estimates that he'll receive around $170,000 (US) in compensation. "We have apologized to the patient and we are offering our full support," said the medical director, Dr. Peter Williams. "I think being 'supportive' means not taking away my ability to reproduce, you fucking morons," said the recently vasectomized man.

Earlier in the week, a Kansas City high school teacher accidentally showed a pornographic image on his projector screen to one of his biology classes. One student took a photo of it, then sent it to her boyfriend, asking what she should do. He then sent it to his friends, and a few days later, the photo ended up on Facebook, which lead to the girl and her boyfriend being suspended from school, on the grounds of "inappropriate use of electronics." Little did the school know that actually the most inappropriate use of electronics is to show an enlarged photo of a woman flashing her vagina to a room full of high school students.

This week, May 4-11, was "Clitoris Awareness Week," bringing awareness to the clitoris and beyond.

A new law is being proposed in New York state legislature that would make it illegal for police officers to confiscate condoms. In the past, police officers who discovered citizens carrying condoms, especially in large quantities, deemed them as potentially being involved in prostitution, and would often confiscate them. This law was instated because everyone knows the quickest way to eliminate prostitution is to take away a prostitute's condoms. Then they'll have to run down to the convenience store, buy some more, and the whole moment's totally ruined.

"Choose Purity," an abstinence-only event took place in Las Vegas this week, sponsored by their Police Department. The event extolled the idea to teens and their parents that premarital sex will lead to drugs, prostitution, and eventually death. Then the teens and parents walked outside and realized they were in FUCKING VEGAS.

Loren Parks is a sex hypnotist in Nevada, who has often been described as one of the "largest political donors in Oregon's history," donating to Super PACs to attempt to get Oregon to vote Republican for the Senate. This week, the Taxpayers of Oregon PAC (that Parks just donated $50,000 to) came out with the polls that Monica Wehby, a moderate running for state rep that opposes "Obamacare," was up by 21 points; a figure the Oregonian called "questionable."

Parks' YouTube channel mostly consists of trying to heal people's sexual maladies via hypnosis. On an old personal website, Parks boasted that he could hypnotize women into being "sex machines." This, in fact, was not true; that day he'd hypnotized himself into thinking he was James Brown. In reality, he has never been able to make a women orgasm, because he looks like a melting clay pot.