Kentucky clerk Kim Davis is blowing up the internet this week after refusing to administer marriage licenses to gay couples. Davis has gained more notoriety than other anti-gay clerk cases, due to her unwillingness to back down, which will result in trial on Thursday. Some critics argue that Davis is a hypocrite, as she has three divorces under her belt (though the Bible condemns it). Davis explained in a public statement, "I never imagined a day like this would come, where I would be asked to violate a central teaching of Scripture and of Jesus Himself regarding marriage." "Well, you had to imagine it a little the day you got married for the FOURTH TIME, right, bitch?" responded Jesus Himself from the heavens.

A recent study of men in the Boston area was published Monday, stating that men who purchase sex are more likely to commit sexual violence. Men from ranging demographics had reported "a preference for impersonal sex, a fear of rejection by women, a history of having committed sexually aggressive acts, and a hostile masculine self-identification," said UCLA professor and the co-author of this study Neil Malamuth. "Hostile masculinity" was defined by a hostile and narcissistic drive to maintain power over women, also named by the authors of this study as "Trumpathy."

A recent sex sting has led to the arrest of 22 Gainesville, Florida men for soliciting children for sex, two of them being a student and professor, respectively, at Santa Fe College. The student, Anthony Stamper, reportedly stopped to get Skittles for the child he thought he was going to meet, who turned out to be part of the undercover sting, known as "Operation Panther." When questioned for comments, local panthers at the Gainesville zoo replied, "Well fuck, you, too."

Arielle Englert, a 24 year old University of Florida philosophy student, faces bribery charges after attempting to get out of a DUI and drug charges by offering sex to the officers that arrested her. When asked about her motive in an interview, Englert replied, "Well how do you think I passed chemistry? I still don't know what 'boron' is."